It's my sister, Ashley Beth's, birthday today!
As with any double named southerner, her name isn't Ashley; it's Ashley Beth. But as family often does, we have shortened names and given nicknames. If you don't have some sort of nickname in south Louisiana, you may not be loved.
So we called Ashley Beth "ABs", "A.B.", "The Beth-mister", and most often just "Beth."
My affectionate names were "T-Whit", "Whiterino", "The Whit-mister", and most often just "Whit."
As sisters do, we fought. Mostly Beth and me. Adrienne was too consumed with more civilized things like high school parties, learning The Freeze, and getting the bass setting right on her karaoke machine.
Ashley Beth and I were fighting in the living room when I was about 6 or 7 or 8. Trying to insult me, she called me a dim-wit.
I was not insulted in the least.
I just gave it back to her.
"Well, you're just a dim-Beth."
And that's how to end a fight between sisters.